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Cats can be choosy about their friends, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But the good news is that you can win them over.
Unlike dogs, who might bound up to anyone for a pat, most cats prefer to come to you on their own terms.
To learn how to make a cat like you, remember to slow down, watch your body language, and let the cat set the pace.
Additionally, ‘liking you’ can manifest differently from cat to cat. Some want laps and cuddles, others want to hang out nearby and blink at you like you’re their favorite roommate.
If you take one idea from this guide, make it this: let the cat set the pace, and make your presence feel safe.
How To Get Cats to Like You
The best way on how to make your cat like you is to learn it differently from how you did it with dogs. While a dog might love a big, enthusiastic greeting, a cat usually sees that as a threat.
To them, you are just a giant, unpredictable creature, so rushing in is a bad move. Instead, the secret is to make yourself small and quiet.
If you want a cat to warm up to you, the main thing is to act like you’re safe. That usually means slow movements, a calm voice, and most importantly, letting the cat control the distance.
Start by letting them lead. We recommend you sit or stand at an angle rather than squaring up to them, and don’t lean over their head.
If you want to introduce yourself, offer a relaxed hand or a loose fist right at their level, then just wait. Don’t reach out and don’t chase the sniff.
Watch how they answer. If they step in, sniff, and then back away, take that as a win. Keep your hand still, look away, and let them reset.
If you want to encourage them, feel free to toss a treat slightly behind them so they can grab it without feeling cornered.
From what we have observed, a lot of our feline friends approach faster when you aren’t trying so hard.
Sit down and just be quietly busy for a minute. If they choose to come closer, reward them with some attention, then pause again.
Eye contact is also another thing you need to check out. Instead of staring, we recommend you use soft eyes and look slightly away.
If the cat seems relaxed, feel free to give them a slow blink and look off to the side. It’s basically a signal for ‘no pressure.’
How To Win a Cat’s Trust
Trust with cats is mostly about being boring in the best possible way. It’s built when your cat sees the same calm patterns every day and realizes you aren’t going to push past their comfort.
Our best cat trust building tips are to start with a simple rhythm they can predict. Feed them around the same time, throw in a short play session most days, and then just let things go quiet.
Cats relax when they can guess what happens next, and that sense of calm is exactly what makes them more open to finally getting close to you.
You always want to leave a clear exit path, letting your cat approach and back away on their own terms. If they change their mind halfway through a sniff, don’t take it personally.
If your cat walks up, sniffs you, and then retreats, the best response is to just stay still. Give them a moment.
You can toss a small treat slightly away from you so they can grab it and reset without feeling trapped, then go right back to ignoring them.
Reward the behavior you want to see. If your cat decides to stay near you, you can offer a tiny treat, a gentle cheek scratch, or a quick session with a toy. Keep it short and sweet.
You want them to realize that being around you leads to good things, rather than feeling like you’re bribing them to stay when they’d rather leave.
Stop early, not late. A lot of people wait until the cat is clearly annoyed, then the session ends with a swat or a bite.
Try ending petting or play while your cat is still relaxed, then pause. If they lean back in, great, you can continue. If they turn away, you’ve ended it cleanly, and your cat learns you listen.
Watch for the quiet ‘no thanks’ signs and respond right away. A stiff body, ears turning back, a hard tail flick, sudden freezing, or a low growl mean it’s time to back off.
The best move on how to gain a cats trust is simple. Stop what you’re doing, give space, and let the cat calm down. Don’t reach again immediately, and don’t follow them if they walk off.
How To Show Your Cat You Care
Once you have established a baseline of trust, you can deepen the bond. Many people think cats don’t need affection, but that’s a myth. They just need the right kind of affection.
One of the best cat owner tips we can give you is to become so good at showing your cat that you care. You can do this from across the room. When you catch your cat’s eye, give them a slow, deliberate blink.
This subtle action tells them, ‘I see you, and I am not a threat.’ Your cat will view this as a sign that you care for them in their language.
Another way to show you care is to respect their boundaries. It sounds counterintuitive, but one of the most effective cat tips and tricks is to play hard to get.
If a cat is sleeping or hiding, let them be. When you constantly invade their personal space, you become a source of stress. When you wait for them to come to you, you become a safe person.
How To Get a Cat to Come to You
Most cats will come when called more often when the cue stays positive, the reward is worth it, and you never make them regret walking over.
To teach them this skill, you can start by picking one cue and sticking with it. It can be their name, a short phrase, or a consistent sound, but choose one and use it the same way each time.
Pair it with a reward your cat cares about, like a tiny food treat, a favorite toy, or a quick play burst, then save that reward mostly for recall so it keeps its power.
Begin in the easiest possible setup, same room, just a few steps away, low distractions. Say the cue once, then reward fast.
At first, you can pay for small wins, even a head turn or a single step toward you. Once your cat is reliably moving toward you, wait for more distance before you reward.
One important rule: don’t punish a slow response. If your cat finally shows up after taking their time, still reward them.
Also, don’t let the cue become a trap. If ‘come’ always ends with something your cat dislikes, like being scooped up, shut in a room, or put in a carrier, they’ll stop playing the game.
See Also: How To Train a Dog to Come When Called Every Time
How to Talk to a Cat
Once you have established that friendship with your cat, you may want to take it deeper by talking to them.
Unfortunately, our feline friends do not respond with elaborate vocal cords when we talk to them, but we can observe some subtle signs to know they are listening.
One of the best ways of learning how to tell if a cat likes you is by reading their body language. They speak to us using tiny signals.
a) Check the tail
A cat’s tail will usually give you a clear message of how they’re feeling. For example, a tail held high with a little hook at the tip is a friendly hello and usually means they’re happy to see you.
A tail that’s whipping, thumping, or lashing side to side is the opposite; it’s often irritation or overstimulation.
b) Look at the Ears
The ears can give you a quick mood check, too. Ears forward usually mean they feel safe and curious.
Ears turned sideways or pinned back can signal stress, fear, or that they’re gearing up to swat or bolt.
If you see that shift, we recommend you soften your approach, stop reaching in, and give them a calm exit path.
c) The Head bunt
If your cat bumps their head on your leg, hand, or face, that’s a sign of trust. They’re sharing scent from glands on their head, basically tagging you as familiar and safe.
In that moment, the best response is to stay still, let them finish, and then offer a gentle stroke in a spot they usually enjoy.
How To Bond with A New Cat
Bonding with a new cat basically comes down to one simple rule: make life feel safe and predictable, then let the relationship move at their speed.
Some cats act tough when moving to a new home, but get overwhelmed fast. Others might need to hide for days before they feel brave enough to come out.
Start by giving your cat a specific room. Keep it quiet and stock it with the essentials, which include food, water, a litter box, a scratching post, and at least one good hiding spot.
Spend some time in there, but don’t overdo it. Just sit down, do your own work, and let your cat watch you without feeling the pressure to interact.
When your cat starts showing interest, keep your energy low and your offers small. You might toss a treat nearby or try a little wand-toy action if they seem up for it.
The trick is to stop while you’re ahead. Ending the interaction while they are still relaxed teaches them that hanging out with you is safe and won’t become overwhelming.
You’ll also want to offer a hand at their level and just wait. If they come in for a head bump, go for a quick chin scratch, then pause.
But if they sniff and back away, don’t chase them with your hand. Just stay still, look away, and give them a second to reset.
If your new can suddenly become aggressive, or goes into hiding excessively, it’s always a good idea to reach out to your vet or animal behaviorist.
How To Hold a Cat Safely
You may have already noticed that nothing ruins a friendship with our feline friends faster than a bad lift.
If you incorrectly pick up your furry friend, they will remember it, and they will avoid you next time. This is why you should learn how to properly pick up a cat to keep the friendship.
When picking up a cat, you should always do it in a manner that adequately supports the hindquarters.
Never pick a cat up like a baby with their legs dangling down. This makes them feel vulnerable and puts strain on their spine.
How To Properly Pick Up a Cat
Here is a short procedure you can use to properly pick up a cat to make them feel safe in your arms:
1. Place one hand under their chest, just behind the front legs.
2. Immediately scoop your other hand under their back legs and bottom.
3. Pull them close to your chest so they feel secure.
If the cat squirms, we recommend that you immediately put them down. Holding your cat against their will is a fast track to losing the trust you’re trying to build.
Where To Pet a Cat
You may think that you already know how to pet household pets, until you meet a cat. Our feline friends can be specific about how they want to be petted.
A good example is that dogs often love a rigorous back scratch or a belly rub. However, cats usually hate that.
These preferences are not random in cats; they are rather biological because they possess scent glands located primarily on their heads.
These scent glands release pheromones that are used to mark their territory and their social group.
If you’re thinking about it, some of the best spots to pet a cat are the cheeks, under the chin, and around the base of the ears.
When you do pet, keep it light and short at first. Be extra cautious around the base of the tail. Some cats love it, while others get overstimulated.
Conclusion
As you have seen, building trust with a cat takes time and patience, but the reward is absolutely worth it.
When you finally earn that head bump, that slow blink, or that rumbling purr, you’ll know you’ve made a connection with your feline friend.
As you try these methods, remember that every cat is different. So, what works for one might not work for another.
For techniques on how to make a cat like you, stay consistent, respect their space, and let them approach you on their own terms when they’re ready.
Laura is the founder of Furs'n'Paws. She is a also a pet writer and expert with more than 20 years of experience of working with dogs and cats. She developed a very strong love for animals at a young age. Her passion led her to establish a thriving pet sitting and dog walking business in Dubai. As an expert in pet training, behavior, and nutrition, Laura is committed to helping pet owners and pet lovers by offering high-quality information on a wide range of topics.
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